Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
