It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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