Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
