Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
