I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
