Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I just forgot I was standing up.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize