The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
