Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
