You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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