You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
