Need sex. Gaining weight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
