you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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