Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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