oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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