Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
