I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
