me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
