I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
