So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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