there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
