I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
