Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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