This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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