How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
