He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
there was a trapeze. enough said
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
