Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
