How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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