I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
