How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
