We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize