some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
