Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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