WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
