I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
