i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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