You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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