he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Randomize
