Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
you had me at cake vodka
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize