hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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