Dual....:-)
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
