Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
