Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
