Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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