that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
