Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
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