You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize