I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
