I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
