maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
