Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Randomize
