is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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