Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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