That's intense
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
