..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
