I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Randomize
