You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
