I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
