I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
