$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
