Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
