i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
