Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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