he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
