You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
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protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
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3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
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